The Animals. 

Shannon and I drove past this house many times before we got married. He would drive past it on his way to Indianapolis to see me and I would drive past it on my way to see him in Logansport. When it came time for us to make a decision of where to live it made more sense to be in Logansport since it was where the motorcycle shop was and we obviously could not move it, but I could find a new teaching job. 

We visited quite a few homes, some were just too far for a commute, some were too small, and some were just plain weird. Shannon decided to call about this house after a 'For Sale' sign was placed in the yard, it was advertised as having 7+ acres and a perfect place for goats. We ended up buying the house and shortly after that we bought our first farm animals. We had gone to the county fair and after talking with a family who was showing goats we bought two of their goats with the promise that they would have a good life and would not become dinner. Buster and Buddy. The next spring we saved a miniature donkey who had not been well cared for, but unfortunately he was not strong enough to make it through the winter.

​The animals kept coming and our little farm kept growing. We now have quite a group and our next purchase will most likely be cattle or sheep so that we can produce more of our own food. Our chickens do a good just of supplying us with eggs and our garden supplies our veggies in the warm months, but we want to do more. We want to have more control over what we are eating and we are fortunate enough to have a place where we can do that. 

We have since acquired 7 more acres of property and have two areas that are fenced in and perfect for grazing. We need to build a big barn so that we have more space for feed and hay storage and for the animals if necessary, but one day soon we will get there.
Motherhood can be a lonely place and these days unforgiving. I could not care less about how others feel I am doing as a Momma, as long as my kids are thriving I am good. I do not need to keep up with the activities and parties because I just do not care. However, I do care about how my mom sees me as a Momma, am I doing a good job in her eyes? I know I am, she has told me, so has my dad.

The loneliness of motherhood did not start right away for me, the warm fuzzies of having an infant put them at bay for a while. The loneliness for me started when I finally went back to work. I spend the day teaching high school students and come home where I do not get a chance to stop.

There are days where all I want is five minutes of silence, but I never get that five minutes. There are days where all I want is for all the household chores to be finally caught up, but we know that will never happen. There are days I wish I could just go off on my own for a day or two, but then I realize how much I would miss my kids and husband. There are days I wish I was not constantly needed, but I am thankful that my children come to me for their needs. There are many days that I get tired of hearing 'Momma' yelled over and over, once is enough; I heard you the first time. There are days where all I want is one 'thank you', but I never get that 'thank you'.

Mom, I know that one day this loneliness will go away and it will be filled with a different kind of loneliness, but I now understand how much you did and sacrificed and gave. I see some of my students and know that I was so lucky to have you as a mom, just like my kids are so lucky to have me. You were selfless. You did what had to be done to be a good mom even when it took away from your wants and needs. I know I did not appreciate what you did back when I was younger, but I do now and I am so thankful for you.