I have still been thinking about what I wrote and there a some things I would like to add, some things that I should have put in there yesterday because they are important.
I do not want my daughter see me eat at a different fast food place because the place that the majority chose is "unhealthy", I do not want her to see me eating a meal that I packed while everyone else is eating the food that was prepared for them at the barbecue. I want her to see someone who is doing her best to be healthy, but also allows herself moments of indulgence. I do not want my daughter to think that her body needs to look a certain way, because let's be honest here, getting to that point of extreme 'fitness' is a challenge, and remaining at that level is even more of a challenge.
My eight-year-old son watches me. He watches me make healthy choices and he watches me make 'unhealthy' choices. My son watches me. All the time. I do not want him to see a woman who is constantly obsessing over what she eats or missing a workout. I do not want this impressionable young boy see a woman who cannot let go and enjoy the little things in life; eating an ice cream cone with her children or having a few beers with her husband, or *gasp* eating more than one slice of pizza on a Friday night. I want this boy to see this because I do not want his expectations of women to be distorted and unrealistic.
I do want both of my children to see a Momma who cares about her body and how she takes care of it, I want them to see a Momma who does her best to make healthy choices for her family, but I also want them to see a Momma who indulges in the good things that life has to offer. I want them to know that sometimes I may be too tired to get up early and workout, so I sleep because that is what my body needed. I want them to see a Momma who misses a workout because she is sick and just cannot push through that day, or she misses a workout because they are sick and need her the entire day. I want them to see a Momma who has some balance and is not consumed by the 'way of life' she has chosen.
I said it in my previous post, I used to be that girl. I ran like a crazy woman six to seven days a week. I was very careful about the things I ate. I was also very quick to feel guilty when I 'messed up'. I used to be that girl and I am so glad that I was her back before my kids and before my husband. I am enough without being obsessed with being 'better'. I do what I can to stay on top of my health, but life sometimes gets in the way and I let it.