As Mommas we are told to take a deep breath and not lose it when our children do something wrong, but I disagree. Now, if you are constantly angry with your children then you have some things to sort out, but if you get mad for a legit reason...you should. We are constantly told that we should keep our cool when our kids do something they shouldn’t, but that’s not reality, people get mad, they react in ways that show their anger, and our children need to understand this reality. Our children need to see their parents get mad so that when they go to school they behave, so that they are better for their teachers than they are for us. They need to know that when they do something that warrants anger, it happens. They should not see us as perfectly even-tempered beings, we are not helping them if that is how we are all of the time. If we never get upset with our children what are we setting them up for later in life when they do something to upset a teacher, a friend, or a boss? They will be blindsided and will not know how to handle themselves, they need to see adults upset, especially their parents, it is real life. It is how we handle things after we lose our shit that makes a difference. Do we sit down and talk with them about how things could have been different? Do we ask them if our anger is justified and have them explain to us why? Do we apologize for getting angry, but explain that as parents we will get angry? Do we give them a hug and tell them how much we love them?
We are always told to give our children grace (and others as well for that matter), but we often forget about ourselves. We are allowed to give ourselves grace, we should give ourselves some grace. This is something that as parents, especially as Mommas that we need to practice. We have feelings too and sometimes the crummy feelings come to the surface, we should not feel guilty for this happening.
I feel like we always blame ourselves even when it is not our fault. It is our fault when our kids mess up, we should have put that thing away, we should have been there, we should have known that was going to happen... We are not omniscient, we are just Mommas. Give yourself some grace, and if you see me remind me that I need to do the same. ❤️