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Clem's Crazy Critters

Chasing the Sky.

9/7/2013

Lately I have had a bit of an obsession with taking photos of the early morning sky and the evening dusky sky. Most mornings on my way to school I talk to my dad, so this means that our conversations are often interrupted with, "Hold on Dad, let me take this photo," and then the conversation resumes.

I feel that these little photo "excursions" have allowed me to get back something for me, photography, and I have my iPhone to thank for that. As much as I love film photography and want to use my Nikon and Diana F+ cameras, I just do not have the time for processing and printing. Two kids under the age of 5 take up most of my time right now, just as it should be, but still, my time is taken. I even lack the time to use my digital Nikon, although I have relocated it to the passenger seat in my car so it is readily available.

There are many days that I feel like I am missing a big part of myself. Like nothing that is important to me matters, but these small moments, these photos, are helping me get a piece of me back. My morning photos are therapeutic in a way, and setting up this website has been therapeutic as well. I look forward to posting things on here, it gives me purpose, as silly or simple as that purpose may be.

All content is original unless otherwise stated.

All content is written & created by Libby Clem.

In memory of Carlos, Benito, Milkshake, Jimmy,
Buster, Gabby, Ellie, Jimmy 2, Gus, Dublin, Toby, Muffin, Eyebrows, Brownie, Mustache and her kittens, Stormy

By Clem's Crazy Critters. All rights reserved.

Motherhood can be a lonely place and these days unforgiving. I could not care less about how others feel I am doing as a Momma, as long as my kids are thriving I am good. I do not need to keep up with the activities and parties because I just do not care. However, I do care about how my mom sees me as a Momma, am I doing a good job in her eyes? I know I am, she has told me, so has my dad.

The loneliness of motherhood did not start right away for me, the warm fuzzies of having an infant put them at bay for a while. The loneliness for me started when I finally went back to work. I spend the day teaching high school students and come home where I do not get a chance to stop.

There are days where all I want is five minutes of silence, but I never get that five minutes. There are days where all I want is for all the household chores to be finally caught up, but we know that will never happen. There are days I wish I could just go off on my own for a day or two, but then I realize how much I would miss my kids and husband. There are days I wish I was not constantly needed, but I am thankful that my children come to me for their needs. There are many days that I get tired of hearing 'Momma' yelled over and over, once is enough; I heard you the first time. There are days where all I want is one 'thank you', but I never get that 'thank you'.

Mom, I know that one day this loneliness will go away and it will be filled with a different kind of loneliness, but I now understand how much you did and sacrificed and gave. I see some of my students and know that I was so lucky to have you as a mom, just like my kids are so lucky to have me. You were selfless. You did what had to be done to be a good mom even when it took away from your wants and needs. I know I did not appreciate what you did back when I was younger, but I do now and I am so thankful for you.